thankful for the experience

I don’t need to be reminded of what i used to be able to do and can no longer do.  That is not lost on me. Even if this high dose c helps me, don’t wait for me to snap back to my old self. It’s not gonna happen.

I feel like I am a better person having gone through what i have. I’m happier.  People don’t get that (maybe this bitchy post threw them off).  I’m not going to say i don’t ever get upset and want more. But then i remember (very quickly) that things were so terrible and that I had real fears about not ever walking again.  I then feel total relief that i can walk.  I might be lucky as far as RSD patients go because i didn’t have an injury that anyone thought i would recover quickly from. What happened to the nerves that control my ankles was awful.  So i get to feel relief that perhaps others do not.

But i am hoping someday that people close to me (thankfully some already do) will see that i am not a victim and that i am better for having experienced what i have. Stop waiting for the old me to show up.  Old me had stupid priorities. She’s gone.  Say goodbye.

I was humbled by not being able to do much for myself for a while and i haven’t lost that.  To this day, two plus years after going out on my first walk, i am still so happy to put on my shoes and go outside. I hope I never lose that. I wish i could help others see how wonderful that alone is.

5 thoughts on “thankful for the experience

  1. So very proud of you…. understanding the transcendent power of gratitude is a wonderful gift. Thank you for sharing your experience.

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